Real life stories: 5 women on the surprising upsides of perimenopause and menopause

But if there’s one thing that’s rarely talked about, it’s the anxiety that women can feel as they approach this new life phase. Social media is packed with clickable videos on scary menopause symptoms, so it's no surprise that many of us see midlife as something to fear.

At H&B, we want to change the narrative. We won’t sugarcoat it – most of the symptoms aren’t exactly fun – but at least we can face it as a community and look for ways to empower ourselves. Plus, some experts believe positive conversations about menopause are not just beneficial, they're necessary.

Want some inspiration from women who’ve walked this road before? We spoke to five women about the unexpected benefits they’ve experienced from transitioning through perimenopause. And if you want to discuss your own journey, book an appointment on our menopause helpline in collaboration with Menopause Mandate.

“Being tired all the time turned out to be one of the best teachers I’ve ever had," reckons Kate Codrington (@kate_codrington), a menopause mentor and author of ‘The Perimenopause Journal’. “For the first time in life, I’ve learned to consciously prioritise my own needs and rest.” She says: “Tiredness has forced me to realise that I matter; if I’m going to be of any use to the world, I have to look after myself first so I can show up with the energy people need from me."

Accruing more time for rest meant that Kate was able to funnel that extra energy into a whole new chapter in her career. "When my joints started to ache after years of hands-on work, I realised I couldn’t keep putting off my creative projects. If I waited until retirement, it might be too late,” she explains. “So, I started drawing, and that small creative spark led to bigger things. Two published books later, I’m still feeling uplifted by investing in ‘me’ time.”

What we learned: Going through what was once called ‘the change’ can be about more than just the physical and mental effects – it can also usher in a chance to reassess your life for the better.

Kate says that clearly communicating how fluctuating perimenopausal hormones were affecting her mental health was key to keeping her relationship strong. "Now, instead of reacting with frustration, I make sure to share how I’m feeling – especially when I notice anxiety building.”

"Together, we’ve learned to recognise the signs, like the tightness in my chest or feelings of overwhelm, and I can take action before things escalate,” she explains. “Whether that’s stepping away to meditate, going for a long walk or simply pausing to breathe, we’ve developed a toolkit to manage the intensity. Now we feel like more of a team than ever before.” 

Cathy is now focused on longevity, putting herself first in ways she never felt possible before. “For example, walking and Pilates are now non-negotiable parts of my routine, as well as eating more protein and striking a healthy balance in my diet without cutting out the foods I love,” she says. “Instead of restricting, I’m much more mindful of how different foods affect my overall wellbeing."

After a decade of struggling with anxiety, Cathy has also found that practicing mindfulness and gratitude has been transformative for her mental health. "I’m more present in this phase of my life than I’ve ever been before," she shares. "Midlife has definitely come with its challenges, but I’m loving how I can now appreciate life in an entirely new way."

She adds: "Feeling strong and resilient is incredibly important during the menopause transition, but we also need to give ourselves permission to slow down and protect against less obvious health issues like type 2 diabetes,³ heart disease,⁴ stroke⁵ and osteoporosis,⁶ which women are more prone to post-menopause."

Having spent decades working as a leading fashion stylist, she was inspired to move into the field after menopause completely changed her perspective

She continues: “At 58, I’m now postmenopausal, so I’m free from the grip of hormonal mood swings and all that goes with the physical and emotional pressures of a menstrual cycle.” Lucia even says that the end of her period brought huge benefits to her life and career.

So seek out your tribe, join events such as those run by Menopause Mandate (hint: there are loads in October for Menopause Awareness Month) and whatever you can to ensure your experience is taken seriously. With the right support, perimenopause and menopause could present opportunities as well as challenges.

For more, check out 10 ways to exercise smart during perimenopause. Plus, you might be noticing your skin is changing during menopause too.